watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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