Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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