I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize