i jhust puked up my retainher.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I currently don't understand fingers.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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