.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
