There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
