They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
