Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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