discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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