Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
