YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
