Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just cropdusted the office
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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