I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
