i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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