Christians are straight up FREAKS
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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