You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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