call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And then the night went full on bisexual.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
