Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
