I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
