no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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