Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize