I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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