what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
