Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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