Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
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do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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