dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
