I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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