Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.

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  (434): Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/ab13
  Replies (41) Good night (727) Bad night (3394) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1432) Bad night (5583) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

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  (305): absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me. http://tfl.nu/yste
  Replies (8) Good night (720) Bad night (3721) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car

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  (970): so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car http://tfl.nu/skxr
  Replies (22) Good night (7043) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.

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  (360): Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up. http://tfl.nu/js3s
  Replies (14) Good night (4975) Bad night (1107) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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  (516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa
  Replies (15) Good night (3638) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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  (907): The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door. http://tfl.nu/z046
  Replies (6) Good night (1837) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.

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  (315): i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there. http://tfl.nu/6jl7
  Replies (6) Good night (2544) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.

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  (602): She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal. http://tfl.nu/6tzy
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.

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  (310): I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied. http://tfl.nu/wnhg
  Replies (13) Good night (4408) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

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  (847): I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tgoh
  Replies (11) Good night (1032) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

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  (813): This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny. http://tfl.nu/7jk5
  Replies (8) Good night (1666) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.

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  (413): I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now. http://tfl.nu/ohjj
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

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  (313): What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask http://tfl.nu/sq4u
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt

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