i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.