Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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