Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
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I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.