he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
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sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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