I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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