The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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