i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize