Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
