Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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