Kareoke will never be a sober sport
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
