Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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