my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine