do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
