You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
