I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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