Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize