did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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