I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and she was petting her beer can
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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