My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
