Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
