please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
