i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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