But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
