I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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