i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Verdict: uncircumcised.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
