we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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