fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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