when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
