so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
