I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize