it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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