so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
