remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize